Are you with a Joker? (part II)

Greets!

After a couple of days back in Madrid, here's the second half of the article...

"(...) I’m sure that all of you know couples of Queen with Joker and King with Joker or even Joker with Joker. A tip to identify this kind of relationships is to look for couples that have been together for a long time, having a fun and healthy time together for one month, fighting for two months, avoiding each other for three and then getting back together to be fine for one month… If you are one of those who is always complaining to your family and friends about your partner, who enjoys when “your soul mate” goes on a trip because then you have the time to do the things you really want to do or for some weird reason you just can’t remember why you are in the relationship that you are right now, most likely you are going out with a Joker.

There are plenty of reasons why people stay in a relationship with Joker. One of the most important ones is the lack of self-esteem. The world has idealized success in such a way (mostly related to physical appearance and money) that most of us can’t feel that we are Kings or Queens of hearts. In the best of cases we think we are a Jack of hearts but, on second thoughts (and trying to be realistic) we all know that the average is between 5 and 7. And if I believe that I’m a 6 of hearts, then I’m convinced that the Queen (or King) is completely out of my league. Therefore, I just trade off for a Joker.

Another reason to be with a Joker is the fear to be alone. In the search for our King (or Queen) we get to know many people. With some we have long relationships… and sometimes we just stay with someone that we know is not the best choice, but…

And this is an invitation to reflect on the topic:
Is my current relationship what I really want for the rest of my life?
Am I with my partner because; although I know that there might be better people out there, who’s going to look at me?
I’m going to get married because he was the only one that proposed?
Am I going out with my partner because I’m in love?
Before this relationship I was different, I was happy and had more fun… Am I dating a Joker?

I want to clarify that dating a Joker is perfectly acceptable. I have met people that have even married a Joker. It is the price we need to pay if we want to find our Queen (or King) of hearts.What it is not acceptable, in my opinion, is to give up the search and have an eternal relationship where it is evident that one of the two (or both) is a Joker.

Being alone is not good. It is not the ideal state of man. That does not mean, however, that we all need to go out and desperately take the first “opportunity” that comes along. It means that we have to go out for dinner with the 6 the spades, take a coffee with the Jack of clubs and give ourselves the chance to meet the King of diamonds. After all, the King of hearts is not going to fall from the sky and the only way to find him is searching for him.

It is always good to really think about the relationship we are in. My suggestion is that each morning, enjoying the loneliness of your room (where there is no one to lie to) everyone should ask themselves the following question: Am I dating a Joker?

Alfredo Angel Sañudo"

From an unusually quiet night in Madrid, and based on SEVERAL conversations I've had in the past weeks with different people on this topic, I just wanted to pass this challenge to us all in this phase of big decisions. And for the ones still searching, 2006 is a New Year... Let's enjoy it! :)

Carpe Diem!