Are you with a Joker? (part I)

Giving room to my romantic side, here is a great, even maybe inspiring article from a very good colombian friend, Alfredo A. Sanudo, about quests and doubts I hear many of us going through, in these late twenties... Enjoy!

"Some people are alone and are happy that way. Some others are also alone and are suffering, thinking every minute on the arrival of the perfect one. Some others are seeing someone and they are not happy either. This last situation happens because some people are dating a “Joker” instead of being with their King or Queen of hearts.

The process of finding your King or Queen of hearts can’t be confused with something very common in relationships nowadays: Excess of demands. You can tell that you are suffering of “excess of demands” when, as King of hearts, you are looking for a Queen that is pretty, very smart, with beautiful skin, sexy, nice to talk to, tall, that makes me feel special, with black hair, with great sense of humour, someone that my mother likes, who loves kids, with great charisma and tons of money. Although the latest advances in genetics in the future can, maybe, provide customised girlfriend delivery (I don’t want to discuss the ethical and religious aspects of this), right now scientists are far from making those kinds of “dreams” come true and the best they can offer is the possibility of dating two twin sheep.

The search for the Queen of hearts is something related with the perception of relationships, the feelings that are involved when I am with someone else and what I’m really looking for in my partner. It is an easy concept to understand, although difficult to explain. It can summarize as follows:

In a ideal World, each one of us is a King (or Queen) of hearts and lives searching for his/her Queen (of King) of hearts to share many years building up our little (or great) Kingdom. In this ideal world, finding such a Queen (or King) is easy and all we need to do is to live because, at some point in life, this person will show up changing our lives for ever.

Outside this ideal world all of us are Kings of hearts, or at least we have the potential to be one. In addition, I’m convinced that each one has a King or Queen of hearts somewhere waiting for us. Therefore, the difference between an ideal world and our real world is that finding the King (or Queen) is not easy. And consequently, a lot of us give up the search and end up sharing the rest of our days with the 2 of clubs, the 7 of spades or the 5 of diamonds.

Regardless of the card we are going with, our mind (confused between fears, insecurity and temporary physical desire) tricks us… it manages to convinces us, day by day, that the 7 of spades IS our King of hearts, making us sacrifice what we are and what we want in order to maintain the relationship. At the end, we end up with a “Joker”… that plays as-if the Queen (or King) of hearts.

I'm sure that all of you know couples of Queen with Joker and King with Joker or even Joker with Joker. A trip to identify this kind of relationships is..."

To be continued... tomorrow!

Carpe Diem!